It’s been a while since I last had an entry. I am sort of busy which is a good thing, I guess. I am busy at work, rendering overtime hours. I spend time with Mangki whenever possible. I stay at home as much as I can. I am trying to be normal. I won’t give loneliness a chance, no, I don’t want. It is painful enough that I have to go home from work every single day feeling empty since Papa’s death last year, December 29. I am not going there, not now, at least. God, I missed Papa so much. I wanted to hug him one more time. Thinking about him makes me wanna scream, cry. In God’s time, we will meet again, Pa. In God’s time. I love you. I hope you know that.
Hindi ko po kayo kayang isa-isahin, pero sana sa pamamagitan nito, maipahatid ko ang taos-pusong pasasalamat ng pamilya ko sa pagsama nyo sa amin sa malungkot na kabanata ng buhay namin. Sa DEP-ED Makati, sa Education Department ng Makati Local Government, sa Wells Fargo, sa PayPal, sa relatives namin sa side ni Mama at Papa, sa Ginebra family ko – Jamships, sa PBA friends ko, kay Robert at Marie Labagala, sa MAPSA at Tropang KID, sa mga kaibigan ng Kuya ko na tumulong sa pag escort sa paghahatid kay Papa, sa mga kasamahan ni Papa sa Peninsula Manila, sa mga dati naming kapitbahay na nakasubaybay sa paglaki naming magkakapatid, sa St. Lukes Global City, kay Ms. Marge de Veyra at kay Mayor Junjun Binay na nagpaabot rin ng tulong pinansyal. Sa lahat po ng mga kaibigan namin sa facebook at twitter, sa inyo pong lahat, maraming maraming salamat. Kasama kayo sa dalangin naming mag-anak.
I didnt grow up with a silver spoon but my Papa treated me like a real princess. He was there for me to buy me ice cream whenever i want one. He brought me to theme parks and lets me stay up until midnight. Perks of being the family’s favorite.
When he was separated from us, I started asking questions even I couldn’t answer. I was almost angry. But I have good people surrounding me that helped me keep my hopes up and hang on to my faith. God never neglected me. He taught me patience and understanding of things that are beyond my control as a human. He also showed me how weak a person can be without love, respect, faith, hope and family.
Then things got a little calmer and I just continued my faith, I prayed and prayed, I hoped and hoped and I got His answer. Papa is back, we’re complete again. It took more than a decade but hey, I got what my heart wanted. God gave us second chance. 2012 was the happiest year of my life. It was beautiful, sentimental, lovely, forgiving and healing.
He fled again, but this time I knew it would be a beautiful departure. He’s now with God’s merciful hands and healing embrace. I know and I hope, one day, we’ll be together again, Pa. Just enjoy that life for now, when it’s my time, we’ll be happy together again. I love you, so much.
You were there when I was born, when I learned to walk, spoke my first words, when I was learning how to walk. You were there when I started schooling, I made you proud each and every way. I love you so much that I did everything that will make you proud of me. I tried my best to make sure you will be proud of me and I succeeded. I was happy doing that. Then things went sour and bitter and life wasn’t kind to us, to our family. But lessons were learned, feelings were tested, my faith was put to a test — and although it took years, I succeeded. You came back, you were there for me again but it was then my turn to take care of you. We all did our best, Pa, we showed you how important and loved you are, we stormed heavens to make you stay with us a little longer. But you had to go. This place you’re about to go to, I found out to be a great place. It is said that it’s near God’s loving embrace. It is famous for its healing powers, this place called Heaven, yes. I knew then you’ll be safe and you’ll be happier than ever. No more pain, no more sufferings, just life. As I bid goodbye to you, I just want to say that I love you. I love you so much that it hurts me you had to go. I will always feel the pain of your loss. I will always miss you. I will always long for your presence. I love you Pa. So very much.